Steve Harvey: Men Are In The Fix It Business

In Chapter 4, Steve basically says that men are in the Fix-It business. They do not want to hear all the details that we would say to our friends. They want the jest of the situation so they can give a simple answer. He says that men are in the fix it business not in the talking business. Steve writes that men are raised to protect, profess and provide and not to listen, nurture, show a lot of emotion, etc. without trying to fix the situation. From what I get out of this chapter, he is saying that men try to fix things on a rational level while women deal with things emotionally and it changes from day to day. The chapter may be summed up by a phrase that my father always says when a situation arises. “You have to get past the emotion and deal with the facts.” Women deal with the emotion and men deal with the facts.

I agree and disagree with this chapter. If boys are taught not to show emotion and not to open up then that needs to change. We can grow our boys up to be men but not to allow them to show emotion is not the answer. Yes, men are simple, I totally agree, but there has to be a balance. I was trying to be open about this but this chapter has gotten to me and the woman in me that says 'just because he is a man does not justify him not trying' but Steve did write a line that said if the man's woman comes in visibly upset and he asks what is wrong and she says nothing and he says cool, then there will be a issue. I just don't know about this chapter, some of it seems to be giving the men a pass. But the book is written by a man and how he views men. My husband would say 'why are women getting upset because when women write books about men then it is OK' and, you know what, he is right.

Also, on the cabinet example, he says that if the woman wanted the cabinets a certain color than the man would do what he had to do to change the color, if he loves you. What if the man does not respond to your requests, does it really mean that he doesn't love you? I know that, if I had a house, my husband would not paint the cabinets pink but he may paint them yellow. *lol*

As I am typing this, I can think of some examples of my husband doing things that I know he didn't want to do and he just did it because I asked but he did have his expression of 'why do you make me do these things' so maybe Steve is right to a certain extent.