Oprah Recap

I was catching up on some Oprah episodes, that I have on the DVR, and I watched the one on Clutter Across America. One thing that stood out to me was the idea to have daily routines. I am a clutter bug. I don't like to clean. Since we have moved, I have tried to keep a routine of keeping things straight throughout the day. It helps my mood and probably helps the kids, as well, to have things in a somewhat organized manner.

I do need to work on my car though. They had one family that they brought their SUV from Tennessee and it had a ton of stuff in it. I tell you, my van has seen some horrible days. *lol* I have been trying to keep it together but it is probably harder to keep the van straight than it is to keep the house. *lol* I am thinking about getting one of Peter Walsh's but I can usually find what I need on the Internet:)

Do you have daily routines to keep your house in order? Have you watched these clutter shows?

I also watched the one on women that left their husbands for other women. I am all for people being happy and discovering who they really are but I just feel for the husbands and kids. BetterMe said she just erased this episode. *lol*

I was on Oprah overload. I watched the one with Dr. Oz as they spoke about longevity. I am not a Dr. Oz fan because I think he stole the spotlight from that other doctor that helps him write the books:) I usually fast forward through his explanations :) Let me stop talking about him because it may ruin our chances of getting on Oprah one day *lol* Umm, he was not extremly annoying in this one. All I can say is that I am going to eat some apple peels this week so I can get some more fiber, and maybe get a blender so I can make some smoothies. I refuse to buy one of those expensive juicers that are hard to clean:) Anyone have one of those? They had David Murdock on this show, he is a billionaire and is behind the Dole Foods. He is 80 and keeps himself healthy. He and Oprah went to Costco to get his groceries and neither one of them had their wallets. Murdock forgot his. I hope he had some food in there for his memory. I thought that was so funny.

I did not watch the one on the wife beaters, I just watched a little of the one with Tyra and dating violence, I deleted the one with the 900 lb woman. I usually delete the Friday episodes, because they annoy me. I did watch a little of last Friday because Justin Timberlake was on and I like him.....didn't like those glasses though.


I think that was all the Oprah's that I saw this week. Did you watch any? BetterMe and I discuss Oprah and the shows, quite a bit, all the way down to her hair. *lol*

Mama's Boys - Steve Harvey "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man"

Steve says that it is the woman's fault if their man is a Mama's boy. He says "stop coming up with excuses and realize that he is a mama's boy because you let him be."

He uses a letter he received as an example. The lady was writing because her husband had left the house at 10:42pm because his mother called to help him bake cakes for a fundraiser the next day. She was wondering if she married a man or a boy?

Initially, I thought, of course, he is a mama's boy. Steve doesn't deny that the husband is a mama's boy but he tells the woman that if she hasn't set any standards or requirements for her man than he is going to follow the woman that did, which is his mother.

He says that the woman needed to set up her own requirements which were mainly dealing with respecting her and the family and putting them first. Since she hadn't done that, he left the house that night to make some cakes.*lol*

He says that the woman cannot compete with the mother but she could have some control over what she can. She could have said something, to the effect, that she knew he loved his mother but it is not acceptable and if he goes then he needs to stay the night. Then the ball would be in his court and he can either go or stand up to his mother. I don't think Steve is saying that the woman needs to make the man cut his mother off but he is saying that the woman needs to make it clear that her husband need to respect her and that the family comes first after God.

One thing I like about this book is that even though, on the surface, Steve Harvey seems to be telling the woman everything we may be doing wrong, if you look a little deeper, he is right on a lot of points. It all makes sense. If the woman is letting the man just get up and go to help his mother when he has family obligations and she has been holding it in or trying to cut the man and mother's relationship, it does nothing to help the two of them and she is letting it happen.

So let's hear it men and women. Ladies, what do you think of Steve saying it is our fault? Are you dealing with or have dealt with a mama's boy? How did you deal with it? Guys, are you a mama's boy? Would you tell your mama 'no' if she asked you to come bake some cakes?:)

Steve Harvey Moment with my Husband

I am going through a decorating episode which normally occurs ever summer with me. I recently went to Big Lots and purchased a beautiful rug for $29.00. Lowe's has the same types of rugs for $75+. Well, as I am decorating, I keep asking him his opinion and talking about balancing the photos in groups of three and making sure there is a positive flow of energy in the house with the furniture. Well he simply responded that it really didn't matter to him... decorating is a "girl" thing.In Steve Harvey's book he talks about how a man's house would look if there were no women. Only the basics and very simple. Things like a TV tuned to ESPN permanently, a place to sleep, and maybe somewhere to sit.... I BELIEVE IT! My husband really would have just the basics... so I will just make sure to decorate and ask his opinion knowing that I can basically do whatever I want to as long as I don't ask him to paint the walls PINK :-)Did anyone see the Steve Harvey/Oprah Show?

"They Will Soon Run The World"

My father showed me this article in the Style Section of the Washington Post yesterday. It was a full page article and looked too long to sit down and read as I was trying to get out of their house with the two kids that never want to leave grandma and granddad's house :) I told him I would read it online. He said that I am one of the reasons that the newspapers are going out of business. He further explained that it wasn't a bad think but the online readership is causing people to not read the newspapers. He is right, I only buy the Sunday paper for the coupons *lol* I do read washingtonpost.com and cnn.com throughout the day at work because it is easier and I have too much other stuff to do when I am at home:)

Anyway, the article, Washington’s New Black Pack, is about the up and coming young black members in Obama's administration. I think this is so inspiring for our young black people. I think it is our duty to let our young people, not only our own children, know about the good things that the young generation is doing. It links from Washingtonpost.com but then goes to theroot.com, which I guess is affiliated with the Washington Post. I am not sure but I am trying to give the credit:)

Here is the exercpt:

Barack Obama’s historic presidential victory has marked a significant expansion of responsibilities and visibility for people of color working in politics. From the Justice Department to the United Nations to the new Office of Urban Policy, Obama has empowered black Americans at the highest levels of government. The most diverse Cabinet in U.S. history—one that brings diversity of all sorts—is remarkable in part because the equitable mix seems truly to be an afterthought; the new crew will bring decades of expertise to their marquee positions.

Alongside the high-level Cabinet appointees, a junior class of dynamic African-American political leadership—call them “the black pack”—has arrived in Washington. They went through a baptism of fire during the grueling two-year campaign, counting delegates, crunching polls, spinning the press, working doors and phones, managing armies of volunteers, reaping millions of new voter registrations and logging thousands of hours working for change.

In 2009, Washington is ground zero for that change, and a great migration of black talent is under way. The savvy, ambitious class of 2008 shares its candidate’s progressivism—as well as deep bonds that will be essential to carrying out Obama’s agenda. These young guns (average age: 27) are already doing some heavy lifting. As Michael Strautmanis, a key White House manager and chief of staff to senior Obama adviser Valerie Jarrett, told The Root: “They do all the work, get no attention and very soon will run the world.”

Here they are—watch out!
TheRoot.com

Take a look at the article and tell us what you think. What were you doing at 27? I think I was pregnant. *lol*

The Oprah Winfrey Network

What do you think about the The Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN)? I can only imagine what a Oprah network would be. It can't be any worse than Lifetime. It could go either way. BM and I have discussed before that you have to be open for change when you look at Oprah. If you do not have an open mind, then Oprah shows will not help you. So, can the world take a whole channel of life changing programming? Oprah has a lot of enlightening things on the show, except for that Friday thing she does now, but you have to be ready. So a whole network, I just don't know. I look forward to seeing what programs will be on. I hope she doesn't cancel "John and Kate plus 8". I like that show. She likes them too because they have been on Oprah several times. We will see. I hope it works out and it has good programming. I won't front like I won't be watching. I DVR her everyday *lol* What do you think? We should have a Oprah day, here on the blog and discuss one of her topics.
JustMe

Obama's Women- Administration's Black Women Form A Strong Sisterhood

Check out this article from the Washington Post. how wonderful is it that we have a African American President and also some high ranking African American women in the administration. I will say one thing, Desiree Rogers, is the White House Social Secretary but the post gives new meaning to the word Secretary. I think that would be a fun job but I know it is stressful. Read more about her here.

Turning a Year Older

I will be 35 in about 3 weeks and I am trying to be OK with it. I am one of those people that still want to 29. I had issues when I turned 30. Now, I was not depressed or lay in my bed for weeks but it was just something about turning 30 that was not doing it for me. I really did not like turning 31, 32, 33 or 34 either. *lol* I am trying to do better with 35. It is not that I am unhappy. The last year has had its ups and downs but my family and I have come out alright. I thing the issue is, every since I turned 30, is that I thought I wanted to be in a different place in my life. Not saying that I did not want my husband or kids but maybe not going through some of the things that I have gone through. I made some decisions that I should not have.

As I was driving to work this morning and thinking "UGH, I am about to be 35" I changed my thought to realizing that I am, pretty much, happy with my life right now. Sure, when I was in my twenties, I thought life would be different but what did I know? I was in college, my parents were paying for mostly everything, etc. Life hit after I had my first child and I got married. It was hard to deal with and maybe it has taken me 10 years to get it together. So this year, I am going to make myself be happy about turning 35. I am going to complete a goal that I want. I am going to stop whining, complaining, and thinking about what could have been because that is probably what is holding me back.

Have you ever had problems with getting older? Would you change some decisions that you made earlier in life but risk being in a different place than you are right now?
JustMe

Dry feet Cure

BetterMe: I heard on Oprah's show about a remedy for dry heels. I tried this remedy. Since summer time is approaching, I want to spread the word because this acutally works. If your heels are dry, rub the dry area with acne pads and then put a little Vaseline on your heels like lotion. Put a pair of socks on your feet. The acne pads contain 2% Salicylic Acid which helps to peel off a thin layer of dry skin. You might need to do this for a couple of nights based on how dry your heels are. The Vaseline and socks are probably part of another remedy you have heard of but using the acne pads helps to complete the beauty secret. Go try it (as long as you are not allergic to Salicylic Acid in Acne Pads)! Let me know if it works for you!

Your bff's opinion

Just Me: How important is your best friend's (bff) opinion? I have had a few best friends in my life, is that possible? But I have to say that my current bff, BetterMe, is just like a sister to me. We have been through everything together, boyfriends, college, relationships, money issues, marriage issues, kids, career and anything else you can thing off. Most of this has been over the phone. We see each other every few years because I am in MD and she is in NC, at the present moment *lol* we were both moving around.

We met in 1996, freshman year of college, we were next door neighbors in the dorm. I remember meeting her because she was always whistling down the halls and one day she asked me to go to lunch. I think I was probably half dead from band camp but I went and we have been friends every since.

I say this to explain that BM's opinion is very important to me. She is my sounding board through anything that is going on in my life. I can trust her to give me an honest opinion and it is not always what I want to hear. We have grown into better women through our phone conversations, emails, and now text messages *lol* So, her opinion is very important to me and my mind has been changed many times because of her talking it out with me.

Now, I cannot forget Discovering Me. We met when I was working nights and I was just hoping she was not coming on board and trying to mess up my 'nap' time.*lol* She has become a really close friend who I go to for things as well. I have known her for about 6 years and she is my 'young' friend, even though she is getting old now. *lol* We are both in the IT field so she is my girl, on the IT front. If I was young and single ... I would have a "GO FOR IT ATTITUDE" like her - CAREER, FINANCES, ETC. *lol*

I am glad that I have both of these ladies in my life.

BetterMe: I know I can't imagine a life not having a bff. Someone with whom I can talk over my ideas, my drama, and life plans and get an honest opinion. I've read in few magazines where women have written in to the editor or have appeared on talk shows where they say they don't get along with other females. I think that is so sad. Even if you are anti-social and a loner... find a good bff. Male bfs don't count - it is not the same :-) There is nothing like gossiping, analyzing an Oprah episode, crying, laughing, and supporting your bff.

1st Impressions of "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man"

In the intro of the book, Steve Harvey talks about why he wrote the book. He states that he would get a lot of relationship questions from his radio show. He found that the women wanted 'real' answers to their relationship questions. He sees the book as a playbook for women who want a relationship but can't get one and those that are in a relationship but are looking to make it stronger. Steve says to throw out what women think they have learned about men and find out the truth by reading the pages of his book.

The book is broken up into three main sections, The Mind-Set of a Man, Why Men Do What They Do and The Playbook: How To Win the Game. We will discuss each main section.

If you want to read the intro, there is an excerpt on the Amazon.com page. Take a look.

DiscoveringMe: I just started reading the intro and so far I have my armor on. I hope Mr. Harvey isn't going to tell me how I need to adjust to a man and not how WE should adjust and learn each other.

JustMe: So far, I think the book is going to be enlightening. It seems as if it will have some information that I needed to know before venturing into some serious relationships. Since I am married, I am interested if it will change any of the views that I have of my husband as a man. I can understand DiscoveringMe's (DM) point, who wants to be bashed *lol*

BetterMe: I am in the process of reading the book for the second time. The first time I read it in one day. JustMe and I have been married to our husbands for 10 years and 13 years, respectively. We have been best friends for 15+ years. Trust me we have analyzed our husbands, their actions, their families, why they do what they do….everything! Countless hours of best friend counseling only to have STEVE HARVEY summarize our woman power efforts to understanding our men in a total of 228 pages. We could have been shopping or writing a Pulitzer Prize winning novel instead of trying to figure out our husbands :-) Have faith in the book DiscoveringMe :-) It gets better!

Come back next week for our views on the first section! What do you think? Are you reading the book?

Chris Brown and Rihanna

We all have read about Chris Brown and Rihanna so the discussion is not solely on them but the fact that Chris Brown beat her and then reports that they are back together. What do both of these things say to the younger generation and the people that look up to them? Should we feel differently about Rihanna, or any star/role model, going back with their abuser? JustMe

BetterMe: It's hard when the entire world is trying to be your BEST FRIEND! Poor Rihanna!
Here you have a situation that millions of women have been confronted with and they stay. Yes... as much as we hate to admit it.... most women STAY. It is sad to say, but it does take repeated abuse until many women can actually leave the men they love - even if it is an abusive relationship.
Everyone is chiming in and trying to give Rihanna advice when in reality let's just leave her alone. I'm a big Oprah fan and on Friday's show they were actually talking about what Rihanna should do. Gail even mentioned that teenagers have developed the slang phrases "Getting Rihannaed" or "Getting Chris Browned" for getting beat up or in a similar situation as Chris and Rihanna. What I really want to know is if Chris is REALLY seeing a counselor or is it just a PR stunt?
I mean it. Is he really going to a counselor for a certain number of sessions to handle his anger? Was there really the transmission of an STD between the two of them that sparked all of this? What about the unprotected behavior these two are participating in knowing that in their industry that is like suicide? NO... CHRIS SHOULD HAVE NEVER HIT, BIT, or TRIED TO KILL HER but is it really up to the whole world to pass judgment on what Rihanna should do?
Think about it... this young lady has to hear the world's opinion via e-mail, radio, TV, texts, VH1, MTV, phone calls, TMZ, ET, old singers, and the nightly news?
Let her real FRIENDS and FAMILY do their job to show support for her decision. Help her to realize that if Chris touches her again then he has a lot of people who really love her ready to kick his butt and give him a bite or two! Rihanna is 21 and like all of us, even now, there are lessons
that we must learn on our own. Of course Rihanna's was severe and to imagine someone can go from loving you one minute to biting your ear off the next is a bit CRAZY! I believe she loves him and thinks they can work through this... they have enough money to pay for the help - so maybe it will work.
Give them time and let her make a logical decision because it is 100% emotion right now. I wish them the best and let's all go buy a Rihanna CD!
Peace, love, and blessings

JustMe: I will start out by saying that I feel sorry for Rihanna. I can only imagine the pain and heartache that she is going through right now.
Granted that she is going through this publicly and it is not the best situation, she is a celebrity just as Chris Brown is. Even though they are people, they are famous people and I think that they need to have some responsibility to their fans and those that look up to them, to try and make an effort to tell those people that what happened is not right. My husband and I talk about this subject every once in a while and we never agree. He would say that celebrities do not have a responsibility to the fans because the fans do not run their life. But the celebrity's are famous and along with being famous, they have to deal with all of their issues in public and they have to respond in public, it is part of their job. It may be unfair but it is what it is. I think that there are many teenage girls and young men and women that can take this the wrong way. I do not agree, but I am not surprised, with Rihanna going back with Chris Brown but she is doing what she feels is right for her. But I do think that they do need to say something to their fans, the people that may look to them as role models. If they feel that what happened is wrong then they need to make some kind of effort to let the young people know that it is wrong. Make a Public Service announcement, go on Oprah, have an article in a magazine or something. Chris Brown saying he is sorry, is not enough. I agree with BetterMe that there has to be some sort of counseling for Chris Brown to deter it from happening again, not just Anger Management but with a therapist.
The next question is, What are the parents and guardians of the young people telling their children? Are they discussing it? I hope so.

DiscoveringME: My prays and blessing goes out to these two young people. They have everyone on their backs about what they should and shouldn't do. HECK no it was not ok for Chris Brown to put his hands on Rihanna! I think that as a role model they should make an example out of him. I think I read that he might be able to get probation or 4 years in prison. I am not going to speak on which punishment he should get, but he should get some type of punishment. I also think that he should give money to a "Battered womens Shelter" get some help which will hold him accountable. Face it they are real people like you and me and they go through things just like us and since I have never been in the situation I don't know what she should or shouldn't do. I have a hard enough time dealing with my own issues and I can't worry about her decision or comment on what should or shouldn't happen in this women's relationship. But I do think Chris Brown should be held accountable!
As far as the parents and his pastor I have no comments on this one!

Introducing: "Act Like a Lady, Think like a Man" by Steve Harvey

We are currently reading "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment" by Steve Harvey. Join us as we decide if Steve Harvey knows what he is talking about or is just trying to let men off the hook. We are going to read each section and then discuss it. Make sure you come back and check it out! Don't forget, that when we are finished with the book, we will give a copy away to a lucky reader. So make sure you subscribe so you don't miss out.