Pre-Nup or No Pre-Nup

Mel Gibson's wife could get 500 million dollars in the divorce. The couple had been married for 28 years and there was no pre-nup. In this case, she has been with him since the beginning and is used to a certain lifestyle so she has right to that money and she had 7 kids:) I know, if I was her, I would want the money. Do you think she deserves that much money? Do you think she will get it?

If I had money, before a marriage, I would ask for a pre-nup from my soon to be spouse. I would also sign one if my spouse had money, as long as it was fair. I would not be upset or feel that I wasn't loved or that the marriage was doomed to fail.

Would you sign a pre-nup or have someone else sign one? Would you be upset if you were asked to sign one? Would you think your significant other did not trust you?

Steve Harvey: Men Are In The Fix It Business

In Chapter 4, Steve basically says that men are in the Fix-It business. They do not want to hear all the details that we would say to our friends. They want the jest of the situation so they can give a simple answer. He says that men are in the fix it business not in the talking business. Steve writes that men are raised to protect, profess and provide and not to listen, nurture, show a lot of emotion, etc. without trying to fix the situation. From what I get out of this chapter, he is saying that men try to fix things on a rational level while women deal with things emotionally and it changes from day to day. The chapter may be summed up by a phrase that my father always says when a situation arises. “You have to get past the emotion and deal with the facts.” Women deal with the emotion and men deal with the facts.

I agree and disagree with this chapter. If boys are taught not to show emotion and not to open up then that needs to change. We can grow our boys up to be men but not to allow them to show emotion is not the answer. Yes, men are simple, I totally agree, but there has to be a balance. I was trying to be open about this but this chapter has gotten to me and the woman in me that says 'just because he is a man does not justify him not trying' but Steve did write a line that said if the man's woman comes in visibly upset and he asks what is wrong and she says nothing and he says cool, then there will be a issue. I just don't know about this chapter, some of it seems to be giving the men a pass. But the book is written by a man and how he views men. My husband would say 'why are women getting upset because when women write books about men then it is OK' and, you know what, he is right.

Also, on the cabinet example, he says that if the woman wanted the cabinets a certain color than the man would do what he had to do to change the color, if he loves you. What if the man does not respond to your requests, does it really mean that he doesn't love you? I know that, if I had a house, my husband would not paint the cabinets pink but he may paint them yellow. *lol*

As I am typing this, I can think of some examples of my husband doing things that I know he didn't want to do and he just did it because I asked but he did have his expression of 'why do you make me do these things' so maybe Steve is right to a certain extent.

Motherhood..The Naked Truth

On Monday's Oprah, the show was entitled, The Truth About Motherhood. Two ladies wrote a book called "I Would Trade My Husband For A Housekeeper". Oprah asked the question. My husband was behind me and said "Just admit it, you would trade me." I told him I wouldn't admit it but in my head I was thinking "Heck Yeah, I would trade" *lol* Love You, T-Man.

This show was hilarious. Some of the things the mothers were saying were true and happening in my life. The one lady said that a discipline was to have the children thing you are a little crazy, just to shock them. The new thing I had to do in the car, when the kids are out of control arguing or something is raise my voice, through gritted teeth and then bang on the stirring wheel.*lol* I haven't had to do it in a while since they don't have to sit by each other in the van anymore:) One lady said she was traveling with the kids and did not want to wake them up by stopping so she could go to the bathroom and she just went in a diaper. *lol* I could agree with not waking the kids up on the trip but I don't know if I would do the diaper thing. I am not mad at her, though. *lol* Check out more of the show here.

One segment was about the advice that you didn't get before having children. I know that one piece of advice that I received before I had my first child, at the time, I did not even know it was motherly wisdom:) I would have been very early in my pregnancy, I don't even know if I knew at the time. A friend of mine had a baby and I was over her house and she was telling me that she no longer has any time to herself. She said that when you have a baby, you can't even go to the bathroom by yourself anymore. When she said this, I didn't really believe her. I was naive :) I remember this because I thought everyone can go to the bathroom by themselves, the kids can wait a few minutes. Ohhhh, then I had my daughter and she was SO right. When she couldn't walk, I had to have the chair by the door and as she grew older and could walk, she barely give me a few minutes. Usually, she would bust right in. When my son came, it was even worse. I learned how to lock the bathroom door :) That was 10 years ago and it still rings true. *lol*

Was there any advice that you wished you would have had before having kids? Was there advice that you received but did not take to heart until after the babies started coming?