Pre-Nup or No Pre-Nup

Mel Gibson's wife could get 500 million dollars in the divorce. The couple had been married for 28 years and there was no pre-nup. In this case, she has been with him since the beginning and is used to a certain lifestyle so she has right to that money and she had 7 kids:) I know, if I was her, I would want the money. Do you think she deserves that much money? Do you think she will get it?

If I had money, before a marriage, I would ask for a pre-nup from my soon to be spouse. I would also sign one if my spouse had money, as long as it was fair. I would not be upset or feel that I wasn't loved or that the marriage was doomed to fail.

Would you sign a pre-nup or have someone else sign one? Would you be upset if you were asked to sign one? Would you think your significant other did not trust you?

Steve Harvey: Men Are In The Fix It Business

In Chapter 4, Steve basically says that men are in the Fix-It business. They do not want to hear all the details that we would say to our friends. They want the jest of the situation so they can give a simple answer. He says that men are in the fix it business not in the talking business. Steve writes that men are raised to protect, profess and provide and not to listen, nurture, show a lot of emotion, etc. without trying to fix the situation. From what I get out of this chapter, he is saying that men try to fix things on a rational level while women deal with things emotionally and it changes from day to day. The chapter may be summed up by a phrase that my father always says when a situation arises. “You have to get past the emotion and deal with the facts.” Women deal with the emotion and men deal with the facts.

I agree and disagree with this chapter. If boys are taught not to show emotion and not to open up then that needs to change. We can grow our boys up to be men but not to allow them to show emotion is not the answer. Yes, men are simple, I totally agree, but there has to be a balance. I was trying to be open about this but this chapter has gotten to me and the woman in me that says 'just because he is a man does not justify him not trying' but Steve did write a line that said if the man's woman comes in visibly upset and he asks what is wrong and she says nothing and he says cool, then there will be a issue. I just don't know about this chapter, some of it seems to be giving the men a pass. But the book is written by a man and how he views men. My husband would say 'why are women getting upset because when women write books about men then it is OK' and, you know what, he is right.

Also, on the cabinet example, he says that if the woman wanted the cabinets a certain color than the man would do what he had to do to change the color, if he loves you. What if the man does not respond to your requests, does it really mean that he doesn't love you? I know that, if I had a house, my husband would not paint the cabinets pink but he may paint them yellow. *lol*

As I am typing this, I can think of some examples of my husband doing things that I know he didn't want to do and he just did it because I asked but he did have his expression of 'why do you make me do these things' so maybe Steve is right to a certain extent.

Motherhood..The Naked Truth

On Monday's Oprah, the show was entitled, The Truth About Motherhood. Two ladies wrote a book called "I Would Trade My Husband For A Housekeeper". Oprah asked the question. My husband was behind me and said "Just admit it, you would trade me." I told him I wouldn't admit it but in my head I was thinking "Heck Yeah, I would trade" *lol* Love You, T-Man.

This show was hilarious. Some of the things the mothers were saying were true and happening in my life. The one lady said that a discipline was to have the children thing you are a little crazy, just to shock them. The new thing I had to do in the car, when the kids are out of control arguing or something is raise my voice, through gritted teeth and then bang on the stirring wheel.*lol* I haven't had to do it in a while since they don't have to sit by each other in the van anymore:) One lady said she was traveling with the kids and did not want to wake them up by stopping so she could go to the bathroom and she just went in a diaper. *lol* I could agree with not waking the kids up on the trip but I don't know if I would do the diaper thing. I am not mad at her, though. *lol* Check out more of the show here.

One segment was about the advice that you didn't get before having children. I know that one piece of advice that I received before I had my first child, at the time, I did not even know it was motherly wisdom:) I would have been very early in my pregnancy, I don't even know if I knew at the time. A friend of mine had a baby and I was over her house and she was telling me that she no longer has any time to herself. She said that when you have a baby, you can't even go to the bathroom by yourself anymore. When she said this, I didn't really believe her. I was naive :) I remember this because I thought everyone can go to the bathroom by themselves, the kids can wait a few minutes. Ohhhh, then I had my daughter and she was SO right. When she couldn't walk, I had to have the chair by the door and as she grew older and could walk, she barely give me a few minutes. Usually, she would bust right in. When my son came, it was even worse. I learned how to lock the bathroom door :) That was 10 years ago and it still rings true. *lol*

Was there any advice that you wished you would have had before having kids? Was there advice that you received but did not take to heart until after the babies started coming?

Oprah Recap

I was catching up on some Oprah episodes, that I have on the DVR, and I watched the one on Clutter Across America. One thing that stood out to me was the idea to have daily routines. I am a clutter bug. I don't like to clean. Since we have moved, I have tried to keep a routine of keeping things straight throughout the day. It helps my mood and probably helps the kids, as well, to have things in a somewhat organized manner.

I do need to work on my car though. They had one family that they brought their SUV from Tennessee and it had a ton of stuff in it. I tell you, my van has seen some horrible days. *lol* I have been trying to keep it together but it is probably harder to keep the van straight than it is to keep the house. *lol* I am thinking about getting one of Peter Walsh's but I can usually find what I need on the Internet:)

Do you have daily routines to keep your house in order? Have you watched these clutter shows?

I also watched the one on women that left their husbands for other women. I am all for people being happy and discovering who they really are but I just feel for the husbands and kids. BetterMe said she just erased this episode. *lol*

I was on Oprah overload. I watched the one with Dr. Oz as they spoke about longevity. I am not a Dr. Oz fan because I think he stole the spotlight from that other doctor that helps him write the books:) I usually fast forward through his explanations :) Let me stop talking about him because it may ruin our chances of getting on Oprah one day *lol* Umm, he was not extremly annoying in this one. All I can say is that I am going to eat some apple peels this week so I can get some more fiber, and maybe get a blender so I can make some smoothies. I refuse to buy one of those expensive juicers that are hard to clean:) Anyone have one of those? They had David Murdock on this show, he is a billionaire and is behind the Dole Foods. He is 80 and keeps himself healthy. He and Oprah went to Costco to get his groceries and neither one of them had their wallets. Murdock forgot his. I hope he had some food in there for his memory. I thought that was so funny.

I did not watch the one on the wife beaters, I just watched a little of the one with Tyra and dating violence, I deleted the one with the 900 lb woman. I usually delete the Friday episodes, because they annoy me. I did watch a little of last Friday because Justin Timberlake was on and I like him.....didn't like those glasses though.


I think that was all the Oprah's that I saw this week. Did you watch any? BetterMe and I discuss Oprah and the shows, quite a bit, all the way down to her hair. *lol*

Mama's Boys - Steve Harvey "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man"

Steve says that it is the woman's fault if their man is a Mama's boy. He says "stop coming up with excuses and realize that he is a mama's boy because you let him be."

He uses a letter he received as an example. The lady was writing because her husband had left the house at 10:42pm because his mother called to help him bake cakes for a fundraiser the next day. She was wondering if she married a man or a boy?

Initially, I thought, of course, he is a mama's boy. Steve doesn't deny that the husband is a mama's boy but he tells the woman that if she hasn't set any standards or requirements for her man than he is going to follow the woman that did, which is his mother.

He says that the woman needed to set up her own requirements which were mainly dealing with respecting her and the family and putting them first. Since she hadn't done that, he left the house that night to make some cakes.*lol*

He says that the woman cannot compete with the mother but she could have some control over what she can. She could have said something, to the effect, that she knew he loved his mother but it is not acceptable and if he goes then he needs to stay the night. Then the ball would be in his court and he can either go or stand up to his mother. I don't think Steve is saying that the woman needs to make the man cut his mother off but he is saying that the woman needs to make it clear that her husband need to respect her and that the family comes first after God.

One thing I like about this book is that even though, on the surface, Steve Harvey seems to be telling the woman everything we may be doing wrong, if you look a little deeper, he is right on a lot of points. It all makes sense. If the woman is letting the man just get up and go to help his mother when he has family obligations and she has been holding it in or trying to cut the man and mother's relationship, it does nothing to help the two of them and she is letting it happen.

So let's hear it men and women. Ladies, what do you think of Steve saying it is our fault? Are you dealing with or have dealt with a mama's boy? How did you deal with it? Guys, are you a mama's boy? Would you tell your mama 'no' if she asked you to come bake some cakes?:)

Steve Harvey Moment with my Husband

I am going through a decorating episode which normally occurs ever summer with me. I recently went to Big Lots and purchased a beautiful rug for $29.00. Lowe's has the same types of rugs for $75+. Well, as I am decorating, I keep asking him his opinion and talking about balancing the photos in groups of three and making sure there is a positive flow of energy in the house with the furniture. Well he simply responded that it really didn't matter to him... decorating is a "girl" thing.In Steve Harvey's book he talks about how a man's house would look if there were no women. Only the basics and very simple. Things like a TV tuned to ESPN permanently, a place to sleep, and maybe somewhere to sit.... I BELIEVE IT! My husband really would have just the basics... so I will just make sure to decorate and ask his opinion knowing that I can basically do whatever I want to as long as I don't ask him to paint the walls PINK :-)Did anyone see the Steve Harvey/Oprah Show?

"They Will Soon Run The World"

My father showed me this article in the Style Section of the Washington Post yesterday. It was a full page article and looked too long to sit down and read as I was trying to get out of their house with the two kids that never want to leave grandma and granddad's house :) I told him I would read it online. He said that I am one of the reasons that the newspapers are going out of business. He further explained that it wasn't a bad think but the online readership is causing people to not read the newspapers. He is right, I only buy the Sunday paper for the coupons *lol* I do read washingtonpost.com and cnn.com throughout the day at work because it is easier and I have too much other stuff to do when I am at home:)

Anyway, the article, Washington’s New Black Pack, is about the up and coming young black members in Obama's administration. I think this is so inspiring for our young black people. I think it is our duty to let our young people, not only our own children, know about the good things that the young generation is doing. It links from Washingtonpost.com but then goes to theroot.com, which I guess is affiliated with the Washington Post. I am not sure but I am trying to give the credit:)

Here is the exercpt:

Barack Obama’s historic presidential victory has marked a significant expansion of responsibilities and visibility for people of color working in politics. From the Justice Department to the United Nations to the new Office of Urban Policy, Obama has empowered black Americans at the highest levels of government. The most diverse Cabinet in U.S. history—one that brings diversity of all sorts—is remarkable in part because the equitable mix seems truly to be an afterthought; the new crew will bring decades of expertise to their marquee positions.

Alongside the high-level Cabinet appointees, a junior class of dynamic African-American political leadership—call them “the black pack”—has arrived in Washington. They went through a baptism of fire during the grueling two-year campaign, counting delegates, crunching polls, spinning the press, working doors and phones, managing armies of volunteers, reaping millions of new voter registrations and logging thousands of hours working for change.

In 2009, Washington is ground zero for that change, and a great migration of black talent is under way. The savvy, ambitious class of 2008 shares its candidate’s progressivism—as well as deep bonds that will be essential to carrying out Obama’s agenda. These young guns (average age: 27) are already doing some heavy lifting. As Michael Strautmanis, a key White House manager and chief of staff to senior Obama adviser Valerie Jarrett, told The Root: “They do all the work, get no attention and very soon will run the world.”

Here they are—watch out!
TheRoot.com

Take a look at the article and tell us what you think. What were you doing at 27? I think I was pregnant. *lol*